the chaos that precedes great change


well, the dark had to balance out the light... and it did so rather quickly. the good news is that in the short-run, it's highly unlikely to get any worse than it is right now for me (nope, not exaggerating)... a streak of bad luck can only so far. so i bet that tomorrow's gonna be a better day, and i look forward to winning :)

yes, i've been ecstatic lately about the developments with my art... this music thing is going amazingly, and so far beyond what I ever expected.  meanwhile, however... i've been having massive job/living situation/visa issues... and all that shit really needs to get taken care of like, right now.  when the shit first started hitting the fan a few weeks ago, i said to myself... "even if i get really stressed, i'm still going to keep making music.... because i need that in my life. it's helping keep me sane."  i want so badly to focus more on music right now, because there's a huge momentum going for me in that direction... and gosh, I'm going to try, but I just don't know if I can keep it up at the level that I'd like to.  the reason why I was able to start getting so into music in the first place (just a few months ago) was because I had a steady job, so I could focus on art in my free time.  but that's not the case anymore... my job went to shit, my living situation is bogus, and my visa is about to expire... the whole thing is a really fucked up story that i cant get into right now.  and now i'm also having dental problems, again... exactly what i needed right now -_- anyways, i have to take care of these basic things before i can have the free mind to keep making quality art... i think it's just simply like that.  and with my voice... if i'm stressed out and exhausted, it's going to show.  so i need to take care of this shit... i need to take care of myself ;(  which is hard to do right now.  

a big change is about to come. its like a huge powerful gust of wind just rushed into my life and is pushing me... and it's going to take me somewhere, but i don't know where yet.  i really do not know.  

but it's ok not to know.  i learned that a long time ago ;) 

just keep going, day by day, and eventually things will get better. that's how it goes... i'm at the bottom of the wave right now, but at some point i will go up again :)  i'm sure the view from the top of the next mountain will be very nice, and very different than anything i've ever seen... so i'm looking forward to that <3

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